Tattoos and Death—Opening a Conversation

First, thanks to my Aunt Ranee who suggested this as a topic in the comments thread of another post.

Many people, after losing a loved one, memorialize them with a tattoo. That tattoo may take the form of the deceased's portrait or a symbol that represents the deceased. These tattoos can become markers of the passed life that the living person can always carry with them, unlike a gravestone, which the living might have to travel to visit.

I have a tattoo myself (not a memorial one), and I have to say, it is a very ritualistic process, full of pain. You consult the wisdom of those who have been through it already, gear up for it, study what it will be like. The artist has a whole procedure he/she goes through. Afterwards, you show it off, like a new part of yourself. I wonder if, to the extent that it is ritualistic, tattooing helps people heal from grieving. We don't have many rituals in modern life, but when someone dies, that is certainly one of the times we do feel the need to ritualize (e.g., the funeral).

There may be something significant and satisfying about having a permanent reminder of this person etched into your body. And in a sense, their mortality is picked up and linked with your current vitality.

Most Common Elements in Memorial Tattoos

I'm working on a post about memorial tattoos (more on that later) but while researching, I ran across this list of some of the most common elements in memorial tattoos, from this webpage. I thought it was worth sharing:

1. The birth and death dates
2. A depiction of something he or she loved, such as a specific animal, an instrument or the name of his or her children
3. A symbol of his or her zodiac sign
4. A portrait of the beloved’s face
5. Red and/or white roses and other floral designs
6. Hearts
7. An angel or cherub
8. Stars
9. The deceased’s birthstone

Do you have a memorial tattoo? Does yours include any of those elements? Why did you design yours the way your did?