Monday, September 8, 2008

Letting Go and Not Letting Go

My grandmother still has my deceased grandfather's voice on her answering machine. So, when you call her house, if no one is home, it's grandpa who tells you that you can expect a call back, even though he's been dead for nearly a year. It's completely disturbing and sad to everyone who calls. But grandma can't seem to let go of this particular concrete reminder of him. Which I guess I can understand. I have a nice voicemail from my boyfriend saved on my cellphone. It's not public, and other people do not have to listen to it. But is it really that different?


Anonymous said...


Hi it's Todd. I reformatted my pc and forgot to import your email addy.
Can you email me? I have some updates for your regarding our planner.
Have a great day!


Anonymous said...

I know from the other older women that talk to grandma that it took about three years to accept the death. Many of the people told grandma that they woke up one morning and suddenly the sadness was gone. One lady wouldn't change her bedroom, she kept the two bed in there until the 3rd year and on that day she painted her room and gave away the beds and got one nice one for herself.
Shogo's grandma still has daily conversation with her dead husband, even brings him food. It's a normal way to treat the dead in Japan.
I guess all it takes is time. I don't know either because it doesn't bother me when I hear it because I can't imagine grandma without grandpa, so it seems normal.