New Compassion & Choices Campaign to Start the Conversation About End-of-Life

Compassion & Choices is launching a new campaign today aimed at encouraging patients to talk about end-of-life decisions with their doctors. According to C&C, the goal is to empower patients to understand their choices and make informed decisions. 

Today, C&C President, Barbara Coombs-Lee has an article about the launch in the Huffington Post. Read the article and spread the word.

As all of you know, I'm a huge proponent of informed decision making in the doctor's office. Patients should know their options and be equipped with all of the tools they need in order to make the best decision for themselves. 

Especially with something as important as end-of-life matters, how to proceed should be a conversation between doctor and patient (or between the entire medical team and the patient), and I applaud Compassion & Choices for taking such a proactive step in this matter. 

The article includes a link to a "Letter to My Doctor" that you can use to begin this conversation if you are nervous about having it in person. Compassion & Choices is also providing visitation forms that LGBT patients can fill out to help ensure their partners are allowed in when they are hospitalized.

These are awesome resources from an awesome organization.   

NFL Player Stopped for Traffic Infraction on Way to See Dying Mother-in-Law

You must watch this video. 



The player, Ryan Moats is trying to get himself, his wife, and another family member to the hospital in time to see his mother-in-law before she dies. Clearly, he is not concerned with having run stop signs and red lights; he has bigger issues on his mind. 

Now, I understand he has broken traffic laws, and the officer has a right to question him about it, but what reasonable human being wouldn't understand the gravity of the situation? How could he not have waited for Moats to visit his mother-in-law before he wrote the ticket?

I think it's pretty clear from the video that Moats does not care one iota about his offenses. The only compliance he is offering is to get the officer off his back. 

And a couple of things are particularly shocking about the officer's behavior to me:

1) he pulls his gun right when he leaves the car

2) he tells Moats that his attitude sucks. I'm sorry officer, whose attitude sucks? 

I'm just glad the wife and the other family member were badass enough to ignore the officer and walk into the hospital despite his orders. 

What do you say when you don't know what to say?

A family I know and have been close to for years recently lost their grandfather. And there is a bit of tension in the family because a far-away grandchild (not someone I know personally, but a grandchild in another unit of the family) did not call or reach out to the family in any way after the death. Her reason: she didn't know what to say.

Now, you don't have to read much of my blog to guess what I think of that.

But I do have compassion for her position. I've been near to people in grief and not had a clue what to say to them. My operating theory has generally been to just call or stop by and stumble my way through the conversation. I guess, I figure saying something awkward is better than not saying anything at all.

I realize this is far from ideal, however. Does anyone else have better advice for what to say when someone is feeling loss and you have no idea how to express your sympathy?

And you thought it was bad when it rang in the middle of the night

A local Seattle television station, King 5, has this news report about the growing trend of being buried with a cellphone.

According to the story, it is the second most popular request, after the request to be buried with a pet's ashes (which is currently illegal in this state.)

My first thought was that the trend was a throwback to the days when people were buried with a string that connected to a bell above ground that they could ring in case they had accidentally been buried alive. If you have your cell phone, theoretically, you could call someone if you somehow got buried by mistake.

But it does go further for some people.

The funeral director interviewed for this piece says the trend makes sense to him. The reporter finishes the thought, saying "it keeps the lines of communication open." Can I just say, no it doesn't. I'm pretty sure making a phone call to a cellphone buried six feet underground, in the possession of a dead person, is closed communication. No conscious person is receiving that message.

I can't embed the video, but here's a link.

http://www.king5.com/video/featured-index.html?nvid=328650&shu=1

In the great extreme, a woman in Manhattan has kept her husband's cellphone contract current two years after his death, and has carved his phone number on his headstone so other people can call him. Does she realize the digital technology will not reanimate his body and will not allow passers by the talk to his dead, no-longer conscious form? In that case, it seems an extreme version of not being able to let go.



On a side note, the funeral director interviewed for the King 5 piece says the thing he is most often asked to put in caskets is a can of beer: "One for the road." Really?

A Super Bowl Story

From The Today Show:

The story of Super Bowl Star, Arizona Cardinals' Larry Fitzgerald, is a story of not saying I'm sorry until it was too late.

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