Styling Death—Rachel Zoe

Celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe has a new reality show on Bravo. In this week's episode, she finds out her great uncle has passed away, the week before the Academy Awards, which is her busiest week of the year. Zoe is torn about whether to go to the funeral or whether to stay and fulfill her responsibilities to the clients she is styling for the Oscars.

I know lots of people hate the lifestyle Rachel Zoe has come to represent ... and lots more don't know who she is, but I think her dilemma is one many people can relate to. And if you haven't faced it, chances are, you will face something like it at some point in your life.

Here is a Q&A from her blog on Bravotv.com.

"You also get some bad news from her in the episode about your uncle's passing. You make the choice not to go to his funeral. How did you make that decision?

"That was one of the worst days of my life. ... My aunt Sylvia and uncle Jerry basically really helped to raise me. ... I had seen my uncle a week before in New York and I kind of had a feeling it would be the last time I saw him. He had gotten very sick. I struggled with going to the funeral and I wanted to be there more than anything.

One of the horrible things about living so far from your family is that when crisis happens, it's not so easy to be there. It was probably one of the hardest decisions I've ever made, but when I told my aunt I was going to come and cancel everything, she got furious with me. She said that my uncle would never, ever want me to drop everything and give up my responsibilities to be there ... . But as soon as that week ended, I got on a plane and I went and spent several days with my aunt. ..."

Did she make the right decision? I think it's easy enough to say she should have gone to the funeral. And abstractly we can all think we would have done just that.

Here's what's I'd like to highlight. Imagine yourself an independent professional whose career depends on your name, your sole performance. And this is the singular most important week of the year. You just saw the family member and feel like you said goodbye. Would you have gone to the funeral?

Dan Savage on I-1000

A very personal column in today's issue of The Stranger. Dan Savage writes about his support of I-1000, in light of his mother's recent death from polmonary fibrosis.

Here is a particularly Dan Savegey excerpt from the piece:

"If religious people believe assisted suicide is wrong, they have a right to say so. Same for gay marriage and abortion. They oppose them for religious reasons, but it's somehow not enough for them to deny those things to themselves. They have to rush into your intimate life and deny them to you, too—deny you control over your own reproductive organs, deny you the spouse of your choosing, condemn you to pain (or the terror of it) at the end of your life.

The proper response to religious opposition to choice or love or death can be reduced to a series of bumper stickers: Don't approve of abortion? Don't have one. Don't approve of gay marriage? Don't have one. Don't approve of physician-assisted suicide? For Christ's sake, don't have one. But don't tell me I can't have one—each one—because it offends your God.

Fuck your God."

Jeff Koons decorates Versailles

A mood lifter for all of us. Not related to death ... or politics, or the economy, or anything heavy and dark, and don't we all need that right now?

The glorious Jeff Koons has decorated the Palace at Versailles. He has taken what are already a beautiful building and grounds, but do symbolize wastefulness in the extreme, and filled them with joy, optimism, and light-heartedness.

Here's a short video. I can't think of a better artist to spend five minutes with right now.

Why the McCain Poll?

A commenter questioned why I had this month's poll topic focused on John McCain. I answered in the comments field but wanted to also draw it out into the main blog in case other people were wondering, as well.

McCain is 72 now and would be 76 at the end of his term. The average life expectancy for an American, according to the National Center for Health Statistics, is 77.8 years. And McCain, should he win, would be the oldest person ever inaugurated president.

Physician Assisted Suicide—Follow-Up

Some more information on Physician Assisted Suicide:

First, here is a link to an excellent resource on how to examine PAS through an ethical framework. It is the University of Washington's Bioethics website. I worked on the site back in 2002/2003. It is geared toward helping medical students learn to handle situations that will likely emerge once they become doctors, but I think the discussion can apply to anyone who is interested in picking apart this topic more fully. And it gives ethical arguments for BOTH SIDES.

Second, one question I have heard raised a lot on other blogs is why proponents of I-1000 don't just call what they are advocating for euthanasia. I'd like to explain that briefly. Euthanasia and PAS are two distinct terms. Euthanasia can be used to describe ending a life in a painless manner, a mercy killing if you will, but a euthanasia is actually performed by the medical personnel. In the case of PAS, a prescription is handed out by the doctor, and pills are given to the patient for the patient to take home and bring about death on their own. I'm not saying one is better than the other, just that there is a technical distinction.

Initiave 1000—Physician Assisted Suicide

Washington state has an initiative on the ballot this fall that would make physician assisted suicide legal. If it passes, we would become the second state, after Oregon, to approve such a measure.

Here are some details:
Patients would be given a lethal dose of medicine, which they would take on their own.
To qualify, the would have to be deemed terminal, death coming within six months, by two separate physicians.
They would have to be deemed mentally competent by two physicians.
The request must be voluntary, as checked by two physicians.
There's a 15-day waiting period between the first oral request and a written request.
There is a 48-hour waiting period between the written request and the writing of the prescription.
The patient is encouraged to discuss the decision with family (not required because of confidentiality laws).
The patient may change their mind at any time.

I support the initiative because it gives patients autonomy over the manner in which they die. It offers compassion to those who are dying anyway, many of whom are dying with pain and suffering. I think society has a strong interest in preserving life, but sometimes individual liberty must win out over that maxim. Also, some in the medical profession would tell you that PAS already occurs but under the radar. Legalizing it will lend an openness to the discussion.

Apart from my opinions, I'd also like to share some of the ads that pro and con sides are playing. I find both sides pretty disgusting. The pro side is predictably manipulating the emotions of people who have been through terrible, gut-wrenching deaths that could have been eased with the passage of a law like this. The con side is using actor Martin Sheen, who has nothing to do with Washington state and played the president on TV. Sigh.

Here's a link to the initiative (it will be a pdf).

Here are the ads.

October Poll

It's a poll and an eye exam!

So, you'll notice the October poll is up at the top of the right sidebar. For some reason, the answer options are coming out really faint. They really are there and can be seen ... but barely. I created it the same way I have created all of my other polls, and I've never had this problem before, so I'm not sure what's happening.

The question is "If John McCain is elected, will you worry that he might die in office?" The first answer to pick is "yes"; the second is "no." Pretty simple options. I haven't given up on fixing it, but in the meantime, I'm hoping it's workable.

Update: It seems to be fixed. I think changing the background color did it. Thanks for you patience!